For me taking a vacation is the most terrifying thing.
If our dear friends, the Endicotts didn’t offer us their fabulous home in Antigua,
right on the ocean I might add, I would never do it.
But being offered all this beauty, how could I refuse?
To bolster my rational for going I set 2 goals for myself:
1. Turn my eating around, which through constant travel and hotels has become
wretched. (My fault, not theirs.)
2. For over a year-and-a-half I have been comitted to writing a piece for choir and
orchestra, or for whatever instrumentation I ultimately would decide on,
titled, “I Honor You As My Own Self.”
This was my ArtistShare project.
Most of you reading this know all about ArtistShare by now.
Artists invite friends and fans to “participate” (financially, that is) in their proposed
project. Most artists propose CD’s.
But I was asked to contemplate what would really be the project of my heart’s desire.
I realized that my desire was not to do a CD, not to create a product,
but to indulge in a process.
For most of my life I have been cramming, multi-tasking, working on the run,
creating on the fly, what have you.
Every piece I’ve ever written has been under duress.
It’s remarkable that the pieces work as well as they do.
I rely on chaos a lot.
Then whittle it down until it sounds like something I actually thought about.
But I’ve always wondered what it would be like to really live with a piece,
really compose like a composer.
So that became my project, to invite people to “participate” in my desire
to withdraw from the world for 6 months to a year and just write this piece.
Meditate every day, and then let the shakti do it’s work.
Well, it didn’t work out for me the way it did for some, (one, actually, I think)
so the money was never there to do it.
Nonetheless, once one commits to the project, one must finish it no matter the level of participation.
Without participant backing the piece just sat idle.
Oh, I’d write a little something, save it and not even know if it had anything to do with the piece.
I’ve actually written a ton of music over that same time period,
all commissioned (nothing gets ‘em written like commissions!).
Actually, in some self defense, during that time I had the worst tragedy
befall my family which most of you are aware of.
After that every piece it seemed was a cry, an ache, a wail
and an epitome to the love of my life.
Deep as it was, I could not actually say it was on topic, project-wise.
So one of my firm commitments was that i would begin and end the writing
of this piece before leaving Antigua (my wife was thrilled with that assertion!).
I would work on the outer edges of our day and whatever was created
would be the piece. I don’t want to represent it as anything else.
On February 1st, the day we leave Antigua, this is the piece!
Composers put many parameters on their work to give it structure.
That’s mine.
It is actually becoming something beautiful I think.
I will admit the version will probably not be the finished project.
I think I’ll make a version of the original idea, work on it and allow it to grow
until every section is fully thought out and polished.
But I will do this around the edges of my life as I can.
For now, this piece, the February 1st addition is it, non-negotiable.
I need to finish the commitment in this form and move on with my life.
What that means Website-wise, blog-wise and so on I don’t know.
I only know this has to be the end of this project.
So that is my announcement.
The piece will definitely have some beautiful sections that are not fully integrated,
an “unfinished Symphony” if you will.
More later.
Thanks.
Kenny
Technorati Tags: Kenny Werner, Kenny Werner Live, KennyWernerLive.com, Composition, Antigua, Jazz, ArtistShare, Effortless Mastery
