After attending Berklee on and off for three years,
I got the opportunity to go to Rio de Janeiro.
Joao Assis Brasil was a concert pianist
who happened to be the twin brother
of the late saxophonist Victor Assis Brasil,
with whom I traveled to Rio to play concerts.
Joao was entering European competitions
and practicing eight hours a day. He had achieved
a high degree of excellence through intense pressure
and practice. The result was a nervous breakdown.
Joao returned home to live with his parents
and went to therapy five days a week.
He started to practice two things
that would restore him to health.
Whenever his mind tormented him,
his therapist told him to go somewhere and chant ,
“I must be kind to myself, I must be kind to myself!”
He practiced that and a simple exercise
that a teacher in Vienna had shown him:
a five-finger exercise that consisted of releasing
the fingers effortlessly, one by one, onto the keyboard.
This was similiar to Madame Chaloff’s one-finger exercise,
but not as elusive. This exercise only needed to be done
for five minutes – a short amount of time to focus without pressure.
Concentrating in this manner, five minutes became ten,
ten became twenty, and so on, until one could practice
effortlessly for as long as one wanted.
At the time I met him, Joao had been recovering
for about two years, and his personality was rather luminous.
The therapy had helped him mentally,
and using the five minute concept, he had built up his practice time
to eight to ten hours a day.
But now it was pressure-free,
and he felt a great deal of love and joy while doing it.
As I watched him play, I felt like some kind
of inferior species – he made it all look so easy!
I was fortunate to live in that household for a couple of months.
It gave me a unique opportunity to practice only from that space.
Joao was going in the same direction as Madame,
but he wasn’t so removed from the problems of the mind.
He had dealt the same issues I had and could address them for me.
For example, one day we were listening to Horowitz playing – I don’t
remember which piece, but Joao was joyously listening
while I was biting my fingernails.
I was thinking so much, I could barely hear the music.
Thoughts like, “Oh, that playing is so great . . . it’s really painful
to hear it! . . . This means that I am nothing . . . unless . . .
if I practice eight hours a day for the next twenty years . . . ”
raced through my mind.
My mind often behaved like that.
In fact, it behaved that way all the time.
Just at that moment, Joao put his hand on my shoulder,
and I jumped. He startled me!
When I turned around, he was smiling.
He must have have been reading my mind,
or at least my body language,
because he said,
“BE KIND TO YOURSELF!”
This statement, uttered at that moment, was revelatory.
It showed me the folly of my thoughts.
At that moment, I was able to let go,
and suddenly
I HEARD THE MUSIC!
Horowitz was playing so exquisitely!
I felt reborn (at least temporarily).
I was sitting there enjoying the music
for the first time as a listener
rather than a compulsive musician,
one whose self-worth was on the line
every time he heard someone else play well.
I became aware of what was wrong with me.
This was a key lesson about myself.
- What about you?
- Are you aware of your thoughts when listening
to other musicians?
- How can you apply this in your own pursuit
of Effortless Mastery?
Please leave a comment!
Thank you for being part of our Effortless Mastery community.
Kenny Werner
and
Dr. Andrew Colyer
KennyWernerLive.com
and
ConsciousWorldMedia.com
Technorati Tags:
Kenny Werner, Joao Assis Brasil, Victor Assis Brasil, Madame Chaloff, Rio de Janeiro, Dr. Andrew Colyer, Effortless Mastery, KennyWernerLive.com, ConsciousWorldMedia.com, Berklee, Berklee College of Music, Effortless Mastery Reminders, Effortless Mastery Practice
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Great stuff!
Really great thoughts!
Another thing I discovered about myself, and this may apply to others, is that when I really want to hear the music without unconsciously comparing myself to it or judging is to hear music where my instrument, or any other instrument that is somehow related to me, is not being played.
I can give you an example, as a woodwind player that likes to play anything that is wind driven, I can totally enjoy music such as Chic Corea and Bela Fleck, because I can’t compare myself to them, I will never aspire to play the banjo like Bela or the piano like Chic, because I’m not into it, so I can just let go and listen to their mastery and beautiful playing…
This is one of the passages of your book that most struck me. Thank you for putting it so simply. It’s all so true!
Dear Kenny it’s always such a thing to read your experiences,and by the way this message came to me exactly at the right moment!
Yes,I am aware of my thoughts when I listen to the people who are so fantastic in music,singing or playing instruments of any kind.Sometimes I can listen to them and I am really listening…however other times,I am just like you were,just torturing myself with all kind of terrible thoughts about how far away from them I am and so on…
Since I came to know your method and ideas I feel better with myself and I am able to be nicer than before with my humanity.
In fact,I am more able to practice less time but on a more regular basis….this is revolutionary to me,that NEVER happened to me before.
I am very grateful for all my progress even in a small scale.
have a great day and again thanks for your intelligence and for being able to communicate with us so clearly.
Maria Gabriela
What is that woman in the picture listening to???
“Be kind to yourself” is definitely something I’ve struggled with. My coworker, Marc’s father told him (Marc) to say this to himself, “Take care of my Marc”. I’ve been practicing saying “Take care of my Timmy”.
I heard Chick Corea play solo piano, in Aspen, a few days ago, and missed out because I was “tripping” in the way you describe.
Not next time, though (hopefully)!
Thanks, Kenny.
In regards to what Ziv said about listening to music that doesn’t feature YOUR instrument…
I’m the same way – I’ll go long periods of time without listening to anyone but myself play the saxophone because it’s easier to keep my ego out of the way when I’m listening to trumpet or piano instead of sax. However, it’s always a good test for the ego to listen to great sax players, such as Coltrane, Cannonball, Chris Potter, Michael Brecker, Joe Henderson, Mark Turner, etc…
While I’m listening to the greats, my ego will start up by saying, “I wish I could play like that – express myself like that”. Then, that thought will immediately lead to negative emotions mixed with more negative thoughts such as, “There’s no way I’ll never play that well – I should just give up playing for good.” And all of these negative thoughts/emotions are ego-based. If I was really listening to the music I would feel what Chris Potter is feeling while he’s playing it – JOY. But instead of feeling what the creator of the music intended for the listener to feel, all I can feel is jealousy and guilt. THAT IS NOT WHAT THE CREATORS OF MUSIC INTENDED!! They never intended for the listener to feel BAD while listening to their music (full of jealousy and guilt)!! Their intent is to make you feel GOOD!!!
So the key is to catch that first thought as soon as it pops into your head – the thought that says “I wish I could play like that”. As soon as we become aware of that thought, we have a choice: 1) Continue on the negative thought train until we get so depressed that we need to eat food, have sex or do drugs, or 2) Immediately go into the space of “no-mind”, the only place where we can really ENJOY anything.
And once we’re in that space, we must be extremely vigilant – making sure our ego doesn’t creep back in when we least expect it.
Thanks Kenny!!
Reading this anecdote always makes me smile!
Thanks.
Hi Mr. Werner,
Thank you for the very inspiring messages. I find I can listen to music and detach and enjoy as much as I want to – there are no limits to the bliss I experience when listening. But like your book said, as soon as I pick up the horn, its like the bride shrivels up and life becomes sort of a horror film. I have trouble detaching because I’m always worried that I’m not being a ‘dedicated enough’ musician and will eventually lose inspiration and quit playing, despite how much I love music. With this anxiety, playing/composing isn’t as fun, and therefore the fire of self-doubt is fed. My worst fear is being inevitably placed in the category of musicians that should just quit and do something else to alleviate their anxiety. You mentioned in your book that there are 3 kinds of people – those that love the music that much, those that have a deep-seated need to express themselves through music, and those that are too lazy or too scared to retrain for another career. I know I love music and therefore fit the first category, but I suppose that whenever my anxiety arises, I fear that I might also fit the third category, because in a sense I am scared to be anything but a musician (i feel life would sort of be a waste).
I can relate to this story so well whenever I hear other musicians play I’m always considering how I measure up in my playing ability and often I’m dissappointed. I do practice but som etimes I wonder if I have the ‘gift’.
Craig
Thanks for ” shedding light” on so many areas that musicians and creators in general are constantly dealing with.
The five-finger exercise reminds me of Carmine Caruso exercises I’ve done over the years. I think most brass players do these 2-3 note exercises mainly thinking about developing their range on the instrument. Over time, these exercises have served a dual purpose for me. I’ve found them to be incredibly relaxing and almost zen-like. Kind of like doing tai chi on the trumpet. They’re also great for ear training. Playing every interval on the horn from every direction at a very very slow tempo I liken to watching tai chi classes in the parks in Tokyo early in the mornings. Tai chi students are training for a future physical event that will probably happen at a very high tempo and also learning the art of relaxation and NO THINKING.
What i discovered is that when i really fallow the sound that is coming to my ears, without letting go – i don’t even have time to think about other stuff
that means not just listening to a chord just to recognize it, saying “ahh that’s c 13, what’s going to be the next one?”, but instead really listen to it until the sound disapear. i do it more and more when i practice, and i try to bring that kind of listening i’m in a concert. it takes practice – same as meditation does, but i feel that it worth it.
thanks so much Kenny and thank you too Andrew.
Guy.
Thank you for sharing! I have discovered that sometimes when I play I get caught up in thoughts and focus to much on myself. Then it doesn’t matter who I’m playing with I’m just not able to enjoy they are or enyone are doing. But if I “zoom” out of myself I start to hear the other musicians and start to feel the precence of the audience. A good way to do this is to look at them, then the focus moves from my ego towards the music and the experience itself!
Kenny is an absolute genius! Now, after reading his book (twice) and watching his videos, it is time to stop stalling and take out my trumpet.
Since there is nothing to fear, I am out of excuses.
Thank you, Kenny.
I appreciate this message alot because so often it feels like the music is coming from someplace I don’t have enough control over, and it’s sort of like a privilege when it sounds right. Then I will listen to other people I consider my main inspirations and feel so humbled by them, and that unless I am very lucky and get the flow of power in me sometimes, I can not sound like them when I want to . That I am afraid I am too flighty in my practice patterns and if I do practice I get better, then I can be more at ease.
Kenny,
Since it takes me a long time to really absorb information I have had to re-read almost everything in your book several times. Not all at once but a chapter here and a chapter there but it is getting through. One of teh things that go along with being able to really hear myself play is to REALY REALY hear others play and enjoy every note. I have listened to Miles , Clifford, Zoot, etc for years but I never really heard and appreciated what they do and how until I could beging to hear myself play. Then I could hear all the others in a very different way. It is like I am hearing them for the first time without reservations and am now able to bring the music inside where Jazz lives in my mind and soul. WOW what a concept. Thanks for all you do and I have tried to get almost everyone I know to read your book, buy the DVDs, and just work the Steps!!! I am more amazed everyday because I am growing musically everyday a little bit at a time.
Geat Job!!
Bob
{ 1 trackback }